When you just can't decide...

I really should have named this blog Krazy Quilt or something similar. I have so many different and varied ideas for blog entries that I find it difficult to settle on a theme. I also find myself unable to pick one and therefore unable to write in my blog. I guess a wealth of ideas is better than having none, but really to me it's the same thing. It's like being so hungry that everything on the menu looks good and you just can't decide. I think I shall make a list and just go down and tick off the blogs as I go. That seems like the best idea. Ah writing, my joy and my curse....

Awww Hell...

So we have been delayed yet again. I made the reservation for the van yesterday. We get to Bakersfield and discover that we need a credit card to secure the rental. Jason's credit card doesn't have much money on it so it is declined, and for whatever reason they won't accept a debit card...great. We try to get someone to use their card and she agreed initially but then backed out for reasons that aren't really that clear, and so now we're stuck until Sunday because the money won't go on Jason's card until Saturday. Joy!

Yep, a streak of good luck would be really really welcomed right about now... please?

Adventures In Moving; Going To Coloroado With Next To Nothing.

So when I move in a few days I will be leaving with a few clothes, important mementos, some books and my computer. Pretty much everything else will either be lost or staying here in storage. When I get to Denver I will have no furniture, nothing for a kitchen, nothing at all. I even had to sell my TV. It sucks. I am feeling a bit badly about it, but as long as we have a place to stay I guess I'll just have to get all new (or used) stuff. Anxiety abounds, and yet...I feel hopeful, and more than a bit excited. This has been an interesting journey and it still isn't over. I am hoping that everything goes smoothly and that we get to Denver with no problem. All I can do is keep my fingers crossed.

I really do try to stay positive, and I'm hoping that we get what we need... Positivity really works, right?

Snowing...

I am no stranger to snow, but dammit I wish just this one season we could have a warmer than average winter. Seriously, it's not bad enough we have to leave on the fly with much of our stuff staying here with a friend but we have to deal with crap weather too? I hate that. I will be glad when we get to Denver and we're on the same level as stores, work, etc...

On a more positive note we are going to try to be out of here this coming week.

My Journey: Homeless, or a Close Call.

So, it was exactly 9 months ago today that I took my friend and landlord, Hank to the hospital. It’s probably a good thing that I had no idea what was in store for me then; I probably would have had a nervous breakdown. We’ve struggled to keep the power on, and it’s still iffy, we’ll most likely be losing it really soon. We’ve had our water turned off, we’ve run out of propane, not that it matters because the furnace is broken, so we have to heat the house with the oven…well the broiler to be exact because the oven coil is burned out, we’ve had to eat ramen for days on end and now we’re down to the wire and will be having to leave soon. Hank is still in a coma, and now has been diagnosed with cancer. It does not look good. So on top of our financial problems, I am going to lose one of my best friends, and let’s face it, being poor can be cured; losing a loved one is permanent. Will we be homeless? I hope not, and in all honesty we probably won’t be. We’ll muddle through, and may very well lose stuff that means a lot to us, but living in the street or a shelter isn’t inevitable. It is a distinct possibility however and if that occurs well then I guess a new journey will be had. But I plan on blogging about it no matter what… There are a few possibilities, here. One will be that we get really lucky and find some money and move to Denver in the next few days. Another possibility is that we find somewhere to stay and save money to move and go in a few months. Of course there is the possibility that everything falls to complete shit and we’re out on our ass. I figure even if we’re in the streets or in a shelter I will be able to get to a library or café and get online to post.

I’ve already learned a bunch of new stuff since I’ve started with all of this and I’m not even homeless yet. The first thing and most important is that on a governmental/institutional level altruism is dead. There is no help for most people unless they have children. That’s pretty sad, and quite scary. On a positive note there are still individuals who are willing to help. Mark and Sharon, we appreciate what you’ve done, and we love you. We still have the money you so kindly donated and will be using it to help out our cause. Another thing, there are still a lot of people who mistreat the homeless. Lots of people think that if you are homeless it’s because you’re lazy and that it’s totally your fault. Here is a bit of scary truth for all of you. The fact is…are you ready for it? Anyone, and I mean any one of you, is only two months away from being homeless at any time. That’s not my opinion that is statistical fact. If you’re safe at home and have a good job, be thankful. Also, there are people who have jobs who are homeless. Crazy right? Because really, being homeless has more to do with being really unlucky than it does being lazy. At any rate, I have about had it with being told that there is no help and people expecting me to just get a job, and find a new place etc. If there were jobs to be had I would have one. I have an interview in CO. so it’s not like I’m not trying…ugh. The sad thing is we don’t need tens of thousands of dollars and aren’t asking for it…

Hopefully everything will work out. I’m not as optimistic as I was, but there is still a glimmer of hope. I figure this experience will be something to write about and learn from. Really isn’t that what life is, a series of lessons learned?

Still Homesick After Five Years? Really??

So, I've never made a secret of the fact that I love my hometown. I really do love it. It's seen better days, but I'm proud to be from there and only left to try to advance my career. It comes as no surprise that I miss it, but I had no idea how much until I became obsessed with a couple of video games.

I noticed that I have become particularly fond of Fallout 3, and TimeShift. They're fine games and lots of fun, but I was getting a bit ridiculous with them playing them constantly. All I knew was they made me feel good and comfortable. Jason has been teasing me for a while now because I keep playing these games over and over. He would complain that I have lots of other games, why not play those? This is something that I was asking myself as well. Then one day I was looking through pictures I have of different places, buildings and landmarks I have of Flint and after looking at the Mott Building and the Genessee Towers and it dawned on me....the architecture in those games is very similar to Flint! How was this not obvious before I have no idea but it's true. The industrialized art deco, mid century modernist look of both games can be seen in abundance in Flint. It's kind of odd, but there you have it. It would seem that I miss home even more than I realized. It's been five years since I've been to home and hopefully I can visit soon, but with all of the stuff going on in my life right now I don't know when that will be possible. I guess until then I will frequent Flint Expatriates, and play Fallout 3 and TimeShift.

Why You Should Go To The Doctor When Someone Tells You To.

As you may or may not know, I am a Michigander living on a mountain in Southern California. I have been living here with my fiancee Jason, and our friend Hank for about five years now. Our financial situation here has been tenuous at best and we've been barely getting by and sometimes it has been a bit close. However, things have turned south in the last few months and it's getting damned scary. What has this to do with going to the hospital when advised to do so you are probably wondering? Be patient, I'm getting there.

Around the middle of January of this year Hank, the man who owns the house that we live in...or at least holds the mortgage on it had an odd episode. He was groggy, incoherent, forgetful, disoriented, had a minor headache, was dizzy, and slept most of the day. I was worried, and called 911, but by the time paramedics arrived he was feeling better and refused to go to the hospital. He was convinced that it was carbon monoxide poisoning due to the fact that his furnace had quit working about a week before this happened. I thought it may well have been as well... until he kept having the episodes. I would beg him to go to the hospital but because he was always out of it during these episodes he wouldn't remember and thought I was exaggerating. I really was at my wits end. Finally in May, the 15th to be exact, he had his worst episode yet. He was so weak he couldn't even sit up in bed. I finally got so angry with him that I demanded that he seek medical attention. This coupled with the fact that he was actually aware enough to realize what was happening convinced him to go to the hospital. As it turned out when the doctor got the results of the CT scan back Hank had a brain tumor. Yep, a brain tumor. Of course he had surgery and thankfully the tumor turned out to be beinign but still. It was huge and he's had to have four surgeries all together. Count'em, four! Hank is now in a facility in a semi-comatose state. He is communicating as best he can and I have faith that he will pull through this, but he waited way too long to seek help. Seriously folks, if you are having odd symptoms please for the love of...well your loved ones go to a doctor!

The sad side effect of all of this? Jason and I who are still living in his house (we have no money to go elsewhere) are trying to keep bills paid so that we can have utilities. It isn't easy, this house is big and California is a really expensive place to live. He is losing the house to foreclosure, and I have no clue what we're going to do. I'm sad that Hank is going through this, that a vibrant and unique person like him has to suffer and heal from an ordeal no one should go through, and he's losing his house to boot. As for Jason and me? Well, lets just say that going through charities is notthe nost pleasant experience (this in a whole other blog though), and I am humbled and amazed that people get through these experiences. I've always called myself a sarving artist but this is getting ridiculous. Ah well, I still have faith that we will get through this and that Hank will snap out of it and be okay...what can I say? I'm an eternal optimist.